Hi everyone. Good evening. Adel’s here.
First of all, sorry for being MIA for more than 31 days. HE HE HE. I have been taking my time from the internet to find myself again; rediscovering my priorities since life has once again decided to not grant my wish; as usual. So, after traveling back to Batam for Christmas and New Year celebration, I flew back to Jakarta. To my surprise, I was greeted by unknown and unidentified bugs at my apartment sink. There were flies and small black worm-like creatures on my sink. What a welcome am I right? But then again; life had to move forward so my sister and I gathered up the courage to clean them away. I spent the rest of the week re-arranging my work out schedule and did some catch-up lunch with my friends. On the second week, I had my first meeting with Breaking Silence Project team. It was nerve-wrecking to say the least but they turned out to be very accepting and it made the whole process less awkward. We discussed our next step and personally I think things are going on the right direction. Our communication was quite fluent and two-way. When we faced disagreement, we could talk it out like adults; a value I always appreciate in teamwork. On Monday 11th January 2021, I ate brunch with Sari and we talked about how shitty our romantic lives were. When others found their other halves easily; there were us who struggled super hard in finding a proper partner. We laughed and made fun of ourselves -mostly for our grandma-like personality- But it was fun, it took out a bit of stress and panic I was feeling. If you’re new here; hi. At that time, I was anxious waiting for the official announcement of the upcoming internship list. Last year, right after I finished my clinical rotation, I decided I wanted to be at Bali. A lot of people misunderstood, thinking the sole reason of my choice was because of Hue. Little did they know it’s not that. I might be a hopeless romantic but I can vouch for myself. I am not that delusional to pick a place out of a feeling that till now has never failed to break my heart and tested my sanity. He he he. By now you might be asking; where’s the maturing part of this January update? Well, here we go. It all started with the closure of my internship at Atma Jaya. Let’s just say that my work was not considered adequate nor sufficient enough as a result therefore they claimed they couldn’t pay my salary. For full disclosure, I didn’t expect to gain salary from this; I was already grateful enough to be given the opportunity to do my internship there. However, when I first met my supervisor, she offered me one and I accepted the terms without negotiation. I didn’t ask for a higher pay nor I requested for a certain amount of money. Again, at that time, I valued the experience more. The agreement happened before COVID-19 hit Indonesia so initially I had more tasks than I actually did till December 2020. Other than managing the cancellation of student exchange program, I could only do my profiling magazine: Atma Up. Long story short, I finished it alongside with 2 of my design editors. Then I made the report and gave my resignation in as my internship was coming close. All was good until I asked about my payment. The most shocking part was to hear the claim that said my work wasn’t sufficient enough to be accepted as a result therefore no salary could be given. I guessed a 60+ page profiling magazine was not enough. All the articles I have written was nothing. Being so hurt, I went to my academic advisor to share my part of the story. Since she’s the one who gave me the job, I figured she needed to know how it all ended. I believed she knew my character enough to know that I wouldn’t be saying lies about such sensitive situation. Moving on to the second “shocking” event. The following day after the whole “internship” drama happened, I went to have some girls-night with the Bare-Bear Squad. One of them just got back to Jakarta from Tasik while the other one was already here since 7th January 2021. I knew I was not in my best emotional state coming in to this plan; but I guessed I have expected too much from a person who I happened to know very well. Let’s just say; she had used up my patience to its limit and I had run out of tolerance. I am a big believer of the phrase Honesty is key to a good relationship so I tried talking to her about it but she just shrugged it off without saying sorry. And when one of us failed to get in to their dream internship place; she persuaded her to stay at Jakarta; knowing that she’s very vulnerable during that phase and most likely to follow anyone suggestions; especially her close friends. It was a big slap on my face. I felt so not seen and that our friendship was nothing but a meaningless claim. But again, before I went in to a fight with one of my oldest friends at Jakarta, I took some time away to rethink and evaluate. After almost a week, I realized that not being together during internship might be the best solution to us. Since our values mismatch and I am not the type to force someone to change to fit my box -and since it is almost an impossible task to do- I have decided to just be more mature and less emotional about the whole situation. We will stay as friends but maybe not as close as I would love for it to be. Again, I appreciate and am very grateful for all the times she stood by my side; through thick and thin but now I need to accept the fact that we don’t work on a bigger picture and that if I want to move forward and grow, at this point we can’t work on such intimate base.
And the highlight of my gloomy January was . . . me not being able to do internship at Bali. I used the most trusted service available; Portal Internship and they failed horribly. Let me get this straight; it’s not that I blamed them for failing to secure a place at Bali -I already prepared myself for the worst- The most disappointing part was their communication. I wouldn’t go into details but let’s just say they really almost didn’t give a damn about the aftermath on the selection process. They costed me 5 minutes in a scenario where I could have had 3 minutes and 30 seconds more in terms of choosing my own internship fate after their big failure. However, despite all the chaos that happened in such a short amount of time, I managed to get RS Bhayangkara Manado. Truthfully, I know almost nothing about this place. Never read a thing about internship at Sulawesi. Never been to the island. Definitely doesn’t speak the local language. Honestly, I don’t even know how and why I made such decision. All I know was that, my gut told me that was the most decent option out of the available choices at the time I was choosing. So, fingers crossed that on February, when the new adventures start, I won’t be having so much problems adapting in to the new environment. I mean it’s only a year, so I will make it through as well, am I right? #positiveaffirmation
Well, that’s all the worth-mentioning things that happened during the first month of 2021. We’re off on a rocky start but. . . I believe things will be better. Little accomplishments that I gained was. . .I managed to push myself to do exercise at least 4 times a week. I think I understood my eating signals better now; but definitely still need more practice on intuitive eating. I have been focusing on abs workout; most of them were Lily Sabri’s WO regimen and Pilates kinda dominated the whole thing. Oooh, I also started to train my arms. I have flabby arms and I would love for it to not be so jiggly “soon”. I managed to read five books on January and I caught up with my Korean Drama. AAH! Also, one of the biggest accomplishments I gained was … buying sis the “perfect” mousse “cake” for her birthday! Happy belated birthday sister!
And to spice things up, let me end this monthly update with some short and amateur books and drama reviews #wink
1. Declutter Your Mind: How to Stop Worrying, Relieve Anxiety and Eliminate Negative Thinking by S.J. Scott and Barrie Devonport
Overall, it is quite a light read. I finished it on one day while I was at the hair salon on a weekday -approximately three to four hours- The language is easy to understand, there are almost no hard or rare vocabs used. It also offered some easy-to-do solutions regarding the overthinking, anxiety and negative thoughts that one likely to face nowadays. The suggestions were written in pointers therefore it’s easy for you to pick the one that’s most relatable to you. It also had reliable references. It is good to know that a book was written on facts and not just some opinions, stories and/or cultures. However, the most disturbing thing about this book was … heavy self-promotion . At every pointer, they always inserted a link that led you to “buy” more books that they have written before this. At first, it was okay but as you went through with it, it could be a bit annoying. But overall, if you’re an avid overthinker and negative daydreamer such as I am, this book can be helpful. I even recommend it to one of my close friends -Moni- and she seemed to be enjoying it.
2. Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World by Cal Newport
I have been wanting to read this book since last year and my Google Queen sister managed to find the e-book on December 2020. I first started knowing Minimalism from that previous guy and was intrigued. However, digital minimalism was the part that got me hooked. During quarantine and social distancing period now, I felt I got more attached and almost addicted to social media. The minute I woke up, I reached for my phone. I checked my Instagram, Line and Whatsapp before diving in to G-mail reading Catch Me Up - a subscription that sends daily news updates- So, as an attempt to understand more about the toxic algorithm and how to stop it, I read the book. I read the first 100 pages in 40 minutes while I was on the plan back to Jakarta. I got so lost in the book until the stewardess asked me to shut down my laptop -upsie. He he he- Overall, it was a good book. If you happened to watch The Social Dilemma on Netflix, you probably found some familiar names. The book had three sections and those sections are necessary. You learnt all parts; from history to ways to deal with social media “addiction”. In a way, it enlightens you on how to control and/or use social media to your benefits instead of being consumed by it.
3. The Four Agreement by Don Miguel Ruiz
Another light read. The book is only 100+ pages and the font size was quite big. If you are tired to the idea of reading hundreds of pages but you want to grow the habit of reading, this is the book for you. It reminded you of the four important values in life that one should uphold. I won’t mention it here since I don’t want to spoil you but . . . it left quite an impression on me despite being so simple and forward. The biggest downside I could find was that . . . it could come across as being too cliché to a point it’s almost unrelatable for folks nowadays. At least a little part of the book felt that way for me but again, I still think it’s a good book to have on your library. You know, for the days when you need some simple book to fill your days.
4. The Coddling of The American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas are Setting Up A Generation for Failure by Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt
I discovered this book from Jenn Im’s Youtube video. In case you didn’t know her, she was this positive ray of sunshine. She loves reading books and always strives to grow herself into a better person. This was one of her 2020 recommendations and I had to admit she didn’t stray me to the wrong path. Although the book could be quite heavy, with all the history and theories they served, it was a great book to read. It highlighted the problem of growing up in such a “secure” environment. It described the downfall of growing up with “securities” that our parents made sure we had. The shift of perspectives on how to deal with problems that were influenced by the way of our upbringing was told in several life changing events. The book showed a different side of maturing up as a human being; especially regarding our mindset as a living breathing social being. If you’re up for a “nerve and soul wrecking” ride, give this book a shot!
5. Home Body by Rupi Kaur
I mean . . . must I explain? I am a poet and I have always been in awe by others’ work as well. This book talked about women empowerment and self-love. It’s quite different from the first two and this is my favorite so far. It’s not long, you probably finish it in an hour or so but her words would leave you thinking and hopefully inspire you to become someone better.
PS: Special shoutout to The Book on Pie by Erin Jeanne McDowell! Food is life. That’s all I have to say!
The drama that I would recommend you is . . . . Find Me In Your Memory. As I grow up, I tend to dislike typical drama land plots -fate comes in the way of the leads being together and each of them will be doing some stupid idiocy act; thinking it will give happiness to their significant others- However, this drama is different. There were little slow motion annoying scenes. The girl lead was fabulous, honest to the core and witty. Once she set her mind, almost nothing can stop her. She is courageous, attentive and understanding. As for the male lead, he portrayed a very complicated yet relatable character. Moreover, they chose mental health as the main theme of the drama -on how one dealt with grief, defense mechanism and traumas- The flow was so fast compared to other dramas now and it surely made it felt even more real. If you haven’t watched it, YOU HAVE TO BINGE ON IT RIGHT NOW!!!!
Okay. I got carried away. It’s almost four pages long on Word now. I think I should stop.
I will be greeting you again soon, hopefully with better things #wink
Until then, keep your distance, wash your hands and stay safe!
Together, we can beat this pandemic!
Love, always and forever,
Genoveva Verena Adella 🥀
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